Donna Mae Montgomery

Donna Mae and Aurabella

2006-10-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

To see Donna Mae's new greeting card line (KITTY KHARMA CARDS)
starring Aurabella....go to www.kittykharma.blogspot.com

All designs, poems and shortstories on this blog are by Donna Mae and are copyrighted @2006

LICK YOUR PLATE CLEAN RECIPES by Donna Mae Montgomery

2006-10-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

This short story and photo collage is from my
recipe book

The recipe that goes with this story is: Hair
Raising Good Green Chili Feta Frittatas........

DARK ROOTS AT DARLA'S CAFE

If you walked into
my mother's beauty salon in 1955 with dark roots, them there
roots would have been history faster than a piss ant run-in for a
drop of honey. To Lou Baby having dark roots or dark hair was
the equivalent of being a vodou priestess from hell.

The restaurant, Darla's Cafe across the street from my mothers
beauty salon could testify that Darla would often ask the customers,
"hey ya going over to Lou Baby's salon because 10, to 1, your
dark roots will be history. Lou Baby (as my Mother liked to call
herself) would have Vonna and I pick up sandwiches for her
customers, Darla's green chili frittata sandwitch was my favorite.

I think you could say my mother was the product of her times,
as the "blonde bomb shell "look was the trend and she had appointed
herself the goddess of Bleach Blanket Babylon."Make em blonde"
was her motto."She was brilliant at cajoling all those entering her
salon into bleaching their hair, I remember one irate husband who
called the salon to give her hell for making his wife a "blonde bimbo."
While feeling not one ounce of guilt, she held the phone out for us to
hear him ranting and raving and then covered the phone with her
hand when his voice exaggerated to a high pitch, whispering in her
Texas twang. "He makes my ass want to dip snuff". She then cut him
off with "listen honey you come on down heee-a and I'll make you a
blonde bimbo as well." Then with the grace of a ballerinas hand
and a devilish grin she disconnected this boy off ever so completely.
One customer sit in her chair with one finger curled on top of her
mouth and an expression on her face that said "well I guess that
ol' boy is licking his wounds about now." I could see Lou Baby was
feeling a bit uncomfortable with her two shocked and speechless
customers so she soon blurted out, "Well hells bells its so quite in
here you can hear an ant pissin on cotton."

When my Identical twin sister Vonna and I turned twelve we became
her salon helpers, coming in on Saturdays to shave Zest soap ( the
new green wonder soap that was guaranteed to strip you of any body
odor and god can only guess what else), to make into hair shampoo.
We could visualize the bezillions of hair follicles running for the hills
as they were doused with melted Zest soap flakes, sectioned off and
bleached to what we called "Goldfish Yellow," slam dunked with a
clear slimy gook, rolled onto mega rollers, and struck under a cone
shaped chrome hair dryer. This was like putting your hair follicles
into a serious straight jacket in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

We would cover our mouths to keep from laughing when she would
take the rollers off and the hair looked like big round loops glued to
the head, often she would ask one of us to hold our hand on the
sholders of her clients as she attempted to brush out the stiff as
steel rolled hair. To add insult to this whole process she would then
sling out a can of hairspray like a western gun slinger reaching for
his gun and start spraying as if she were conducting a Wagner concert
and just before the hair began to drip in hairspray she would gently
sculp the wet hair with her hands as if she were doing the hula into
what we called the Helmet Do. I figure there is an up side to
this Zesty do, you could always use it as a weapon if anyone messed
witch ya.

I went looking for Zest soap in the supermarket recently and found
that is now comes in a six pack.

CHOCOLATE AND SHAKESPEARE IN GOLDEN GATE PARK (for Craig)

2006-10-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem for Craig in 1997 (me mate)
while we sat in Shakespeares Garden in Golden
Gate Park reading poetry to eachother and eating ....
my "Mini Chocolate Truffle Cakes",...it was a
glorious day.... love is GRAND

The Mini Chocolate Truffle Cake recipe is in my recipe book
along with the poem and photo of craig.

His jest is inherent to me this fair gentle man's wit
makes foolish things wise when we greet
and I am apt to pluck a sweet chocolate a sweet shot,
by heaven as if to thump him with thy nest thy breast
where upon so sweet his kiss the golden sun give hot
In this our most finest virtue inforcist much laughter
and he is to be counted wise in spending his wit in
praise of mine
He's well fitted in the arts this treasured father of
the fairest of maidens.
He is to be honored for his well read curiosity
and altruistic spirit by living in the thirst of his
HEART
His eyes of saucy looks and lips of poetic words
plays his epirical cards within his cosmic clock.
I look to dance with him in the mountain air
through the velvet leaves the winds all unseen.
I long to draw with him the infant rind of a small
flower to float upon the ebb and flow of the sea
to hold him in the tallest of grasses asking does
he know the by the jewel on my sleeve?
but the moon is only five months old and
egnorant be that soul that sees the without
WONDER!!!

DECOUPAGED PLATES at my opening

2006-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

VICTORIAN VELOUTE

These plates plus thirteen others along with her Recipe book were
were on display at Julies Organic Tea and Coffee Garden, Alameda
April 7th-31 2006..... Donna Mae loved reading her stories and
poetry on opening night.... she loves to make people laugh so
she has finally found a venue to show her humor to the
world.... Its her dream to take it on the road..

Tasty Tid-bits

2006-10-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

Nesters

2006-10-15T15:02:00.000-07:00

Arlene and Matt at my opening ( Arlene's son Matt is huging my book with such affection) .... how sweet is that?

2006-10-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

Arlene is an Attorney living in Mill Valley, I have so enjoyed
seeing her two children Matt and Jenny growing up to be
such caring sensitive adults

Susan and Mike at my opening

2006-10-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

Border design by Donna Mae ©2006
Susan Kuchinskas is a freelance writter for various newspapers and she
was kind enough to review my book in the eastbay express
April 5-11 2006 entitled (How Now, Purple Cow)

NOTE: Susan's book "LOVE CHEMISTRY" will be published in 2007 ...go to
www.hugthemonkey.com to find out more about it

Cheryl and Donna Mae Vamping at my Opening

2006-10-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

Cheryl is such a free sprit..... its quite refreshing .... we
end up laughing more than talking when we are together..
how grand is that?

Easter Brunch at My Kitchen Table

2006-10-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

Pear Calfuti makes a devine
Easter brunch desert

NAPA PICNIC PEAR CALFOUTI.... from my recipe book

2006-10-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is my very favorite desert.... it is a glorious infamous French desert.....adding the cream, brandy and butter
(which are optional in this recipe) makes it, well you know "oui oui"

Serves 4

2 pears (Anjou works well (about 1 lb) or one 16oz can of pears... just as tasty
Optional: soak pears in 1/2cup brandy for 2 hours....drain liquid or better yet make into a pear martini and pop in the
Movie Last Tango in Paris while the magic of this dish infuses your kitchen with over the top "oui oui"

2 large eggs

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup heavy cream (the get down French way) or 1 cup of milk or the BEST... I cup or cocunut milk (my secret ingrediant)

1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

pinch of salt

1/4 cup of light-brown sugar

1/1/2 tab. light-brown sugar to sprinkle on top of dish

1 teas. grated lemon peel

1/4 stick of butter melted

1 teas. vanilla extract

Heat oven 400 degrees. Generously butter a 12 inch-round or oval gratin dish; set aside.

Arrange pears in bottom of gratin dish... set aside

Make Custard:

Beat eggs, sugar and salt in bowl to blend.
Whisk in flour.... add cream, milk or coconut ( or you could mix half cream or milk with half coconut also)
add vanilla, nutmeg and grated lemon peel .... Pour over pears in gratin dish

Bake until the top begins to set, about 12 to 15 min. Sprinkle with light-brown sugar.... than continue to bake
until calfouti is set and golden brown on top, about 10 to 15 min.

Remove calfouti from oven; serve immediately

Photo Collage of Donna Mae when she was 18

2006-04-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

There is no end.

There is no beginning.

There is only the infinite passion of life

Federico Fellini

This collage along with my recipe for (Skillet Lasagna) is
in my recipe book.... it is a very fast way to fix lasagna
on top of your stove and it looks elegant and tastes devine.

COVER OF RECIPE BOOK.... designed by Donna Mae

2006-04-26T22:54:00.001-07:00

This is a 222 page handmade self-published "LIMITED EDITION" (Fine Art) recipe book that is a treasure trove of many years of writing poetry, short stories, developing my art skills and my love for cooking and reading recipes. With over 112 color images of my
Art, photography and Photos of myself my family and friends.

The recipes in this book have been derived from a lot of comparing recipes from at least 200 cookbooks, the internet and
god only knows how many cooking magazines. I have always been the frustrated chemist so its not surprising that I have
this passion for comparing recipes to figure out what is the best possible way to achieve a dish.

The recipes in this book have been much appreciated by my significant other Craig and many a dear friend. I love giving
dinner parties and I don't think I ever had a "No show". The largest dinner party I gave was a seven course East Indian dinner
for twenty-eight.

It seems a lot of my most memorable experiences in life centers around restaurants, cafe's and the epicurean delight of
eating so I hope this recipe book brings you a few laughs.... but most of all that you will look at the eating and cooking of
food as the Ultimate Art form.

If you live in the Bay Area As of Friday April 7th... I have a show of my Book and Decoupaged Plates at Julies Organic Coffee
and Tea Garden (Located at 1223 Park Street Alameda Ca. 510-865-2385 It will be up through May 3rd. $85.00 a book